eat the hamburger with your hands!

In Madrid, American food is really trendy. It's bizarre, really, as an American. Because you would never call to make reservations for a real diner. That's ridiculous. But here, if you don't call ahead, you might as well just dream on, because there's no way you're getting a seat. Kiss that greasy burger and side of fries good-bye. There's a restaurant called Home Burger that if you don't make reservations (for a BURGER), they look at you in disgust, as if to say, Of course there isn't space. And then, once you do make reservations, they look at you like you're crazy once you're eating. It's a burger. You eat it with your hands. Put down the fork. Get messy, Europe! And the French fries? One: they aren't chips. This is American food. They're French fries. Two: Also a finger food. Dig in! And stop looking at me like I'm nutso. I'm American, you're eating at an American restaurant. Take notes. If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you'd use chopsticks. We have a culture! We have our own food! Really! Macaroni and cheese, meat loaf, casserole, pie, cake, all things deep freid, and yes, hamburgers. Sometimes, I get a little defensive when people try to belittle the culture of the United States. I'm no Glen Beck, but you tell me that I don't have a culture, and I'll take that hamburger out of your clean, fork-holding hand. Sorry now?