grown-up decisions

It's time to make a big decision. Continental-moving decisions, going back to school decisions, health insurance decisions. In simpler words, big decisions. Decisions that require revising resumes, writing cover letters, and translating both. As of right now, the question, "So, how long are you staying in Spain?" elicits a panicky response and makes my palms sweat. When my friends ask me when I'm coming back, I mumble something practically unintelligible. Last week, I was mentally prepared to go back, to work as a temp, to think about grad school. This week, I'm set on staying here, to work and to study. You could say I'm a touch indecisive. But with so many options to weigh, I think it's irresponsible to commit too quickly. First of all, there's phrases like "short-term goals" and "long-term goals" and "career options." For someone who's only ever had jobs, "career" is a nearly incomprehensible word. It may be short in length, but it's positively explosive. Then, there's the question of education and a return to the academic fold. That comes with its own set of brain-warping problems. What to study, how long to study, whether to do a Masters program or a Ph.D., where in the world to do these things, and every other possible question that you could worry about. Next, let's talk about health insurance. In Spain, medicine is socialized, and I've got a private company (please don't ask me how that works...my brain hurts when I think about health insurance). I spent a week in the hospital and didn't owe so much as a co-pay. Then I read this and became simaltaneously paranoid and terrified. With this post, I believe I covered all possible sources of anxiety about my future. While this may not be as informative as some of my other posts, I needed to get it off my chest. Much appreciated.