missing: self

Yes, I've lost myself. And, like the cliché that I may be becoming, I apparently believe that it's in Europe, waiting to be found. Because selves just lounge around in foreign cities, waiting for you to show up. Mostly in Europe. Some go to Asia, more and more are being found in South America, but traditionally, most can be found at some café in Paris, or at a terrace in Rome, or even in a beer garden in Berlin. I have no statistics on which to base my assumptions, but I would wildly guess that there are thousands of Americans wandering around Europe, trying to discover their real "selves." Personally, the purpose of "finding yourself" is not why I came to Spain, and it's not why I may choose to stay. I know perfectly well that I'm dragging my heels on the way to adulthood, and Spain is as good as Neverland. People are relaxed, and the men really do seem to never grow up. I haven't spotted any pirates or crocodiles, but I'm sure they're closer to the ocean. I am working, so it's not like I'm lounging around, but still. And really, I know myself well enough that I will never "find myself" in Spain. My "self" is neither relaxed nor loud, and it does not enjoy staying up all night. No, I'm sure my "self" will be waiting for me when I get back. Sometimes you need to play hide and seek with yourself, to keep things interesting.