understanding soccer by understanding baseball

Europeans are crazy about soccer. I mean, football. Soccer is an American word. Europeans love football. I think their blood may be the color of the field. Or pitch. Whatever. Green as grass. Things stop when their teams are playing. Spanish people, being Europeans, are no exceptions. Since winning Eurocup (which was insanity), Spaniards everywhere have moved on to the national league. In this blog, I will not attempt to explain the inner-workings of the Spanish league. It would be too long, and too boring, and really, I don't understand it either. All I know is that in Madrid, there are only three teams that matter. Real Madrid, Madrid Atletica (Atleti), and Barcelona. If you live in Madrid, you are either for Real Madrid or Atleti, and you hate Barcelona. There are exceptions to the rule, but they are rare and frowned upon. If someone insults your team, you must insult theirs. If you support Real Madrid, you say that Atleti are a bunch of chokers who can't seal the deal. If you're for Atleti, you call Real Madrid a bunch of spoiled, overpaid crybabies, with no heart or teamspirit. But really, you join together in your overwhelming hate for Barça. At first, I didn't know what team to support. I went with Real Madrid because NYU's campus is right next to Santiago Bernabeu, their stadium. Then, I started thinking about baseball. New York has two teams. The Yankees and the Mets. The Mets have spunk, spirit. But, every September, with enormous leads and truly epic meltdowns, they turn out to be a bunch of chokers who can't seal the deal. And the Yankees, although they have a storied history, lack that camraderie and could very well be described as spoiled, overpaid crybabies. And everybody hates Boston. Perhaps the Mets hate the Yankees more, but they're not part of Red Sox Nation, by any means. Through my new understanding of soccer, ehm, football, I have had a revelation. I hate the Yankees, therefore I can't support Real Madrid. And I don't live in Barcelona, so I can't support Barça. That leaves me with Atleti, the Mets. And I don't hate the Mets, so I'm a proud support of a bunch of chokers who can't seal the deal. Thank you, baseball, for helping me come to terms with my new life.